Hot Model Photo Shoot Biography
As they're finishing their makeovers and cosmopolitans, The Jays bring in a bunch of hotdogs to the salon and ask if anyone's hungryyyyy ... for a PHOTO SHOOT!
But not just any photo shoot. That's what mere MODELS would do. Instead, each all-star needs to create a hot dog recipe for Pink's Hotdogs. And that hot dog should reflect her branding word. And she should ALSO reflect that word in the photo. (Good thing none of their words were "Healthy' or "Vegan.") The winner will have her photo and hot dog featured on Pink's website as "America's Next Top Model Dog."
I seriously love everything about this cycle. Even though it's a joke and it knows it's a joke, and that makes my job into making a joke about a joke that knows it's a joke, I LOVE THIS CYCLE.
Laura's hot dog has chili and barbecue sauce. "Everything that would be in a cookout, because I'm lovable!" When Camille gets up to eat her hotdog "proudly," she disappoints Jay, who asks Laura come up and show Camille how to sexily eat a hot dog. Camille is disgusted. She hasn't eaten a hot dog in ten years, whereas "this is something Laura lives and breathes every day."
Jay is so in love with Angelea's makeover that he calls her "refined" (!) and he is also happily surprised that Bianca has embraced her brand so thoroughly. Doesn't being "candid" just MEAN being yourself? Bianca got off ridiculously easy.
Sheena tells us a little secret about her Pink's recipe: "The unexpected twist? I added some rose petals and flowers!" TO HER HOT DOG. Her photo shoot is also tasting bad: "It looks like you have to pee," Jay says.
He asks her to channel Kim Kardashian. "It still looks like you have to pee." What? Kim Kardashian has a bladder, too, right? No? She got it removed as part of her cyborg surgery? Huh.
Alexandria gets on set and cries because she's JUST SOOO HAPPY about her makeover! "I've never cried from being HAPPY before!" she says, reaching and searching with her hands for her imaginary future Oscar. Gimme a break.
Laura tells us Kayla's conundrum: "How do you make a hot dog gay and lesbian and free?" Well, probably not in a way you could put in an advertisement. Or in a way where you're eating it. So Kayla has trouble.
Lisa names her hot dog "the skinny little bitch" because it has no bun. How DARING! Actually, it's pretty genius. I'm now rooting for Lisa, because this show just gave her license to do whatever strikes her and act all sorts of insane, and she can defend anything she does as part of her "brand," and THAT is something I could watch all season long. Jay gets it: "Everything is a dare. That energy is just piercing," he says of Lisa's photo shoot, in which she chews and laughs maniacally while straddling a stool. GO LISA!
Jay loves Bre's hair even if she doesn't, but she has a hard time looking like a "girlfriend" to her hot dog. I think I know what hand motion would do the trick...
After the photo shoot, Kayla is nervous. It took her a little too long to "grasp" the concept of the photo shoot. C'mon Kayla, all you were supposed to do was embody the word "free," which means having no boundaries or restrictions, by shilling a corporatized hot dog recipe within the boundaries of a single photo while restricted by an evening gown. WHAT'S NOT TO GET?
Judging Panel
Tyra is wearing another pair of suspenders, and appears to have not washed her hair since last week. She's really going after this whole Oliver Twist thing. Hard. Andre isn't wearing a porkpie this time, which makes me sadder than I'd care to admit to you. (VERY sad. Mine JUST arrived from eBay!)
As they're finishing their makeovers and cosmopolitans, The Jays bring in a bunch of hotdogs to the salon and ask if anyone's hungryyyyy ... for a PHOTO SHOOT!
But not just any photo shoot. That's what mere MODELS would do. Instead, each all-star needs to create a hot dog recipe for Pink's Hotdogs. And that hot dog should reflect her branding word. And she should ALSO reflect that word in the photo. (Good thing none of their words were "Healthy' or "Vegan.") The winner will have her photo and hot dog featured on Pink's website as "America's Next Top Model Dog."
I seriously love everything about this cycle. Even though it's a joke and it knows it's a joke, and that makes my job into making a joke about a joke that knows it's a joke, I LOVE THIS CYCLE.
Laura's hot dog has chili and barbecue sauce. "Everything that would be in a cookout, because I'm lovable!" When Camille gets up to eat her hotdog "proudly," she disappoints Jay, who asks Laura come up and show Camille how to sexily eat a hot dog. Camille is disgusted. She hasn't eaten a hot dog in ten years, whereas "this is something Laura lives and breathes every day."
Jay is so in love with Angelea's makeover that he calls her "refined" (!) and he is also happily surprised that Bianca has embraced her brand so thoroughly. Doesn't being "candid" just MEAN being yourself? Bianca got off ridiculously easy.
Sheena tells us a little secret about her Pink's recipe: "The unexpected twist? I added some rose petals and flowers!" TO HER HOT DOG. Her photo shoot is also tasting bad: "It looks like you have to pee," Jay says.
He asks her to channel Kim Kardashian. "It still looks like you have to pee." What? Kim Kardashian has a bladder, too, right? No? She got it removed as part of her cyborg surgery? Huh.
Alexandria gets on set and cries because she's JUST SOOO HAPPY about her makeover! "I've never cried from being HAPPY before!" she says, reaching and searching with her hands for her imaginary future Oscar. Gimme a break.
Laura tells us Kayla's conundrum: "How do you make a hot dog gay and lesbian and free?" Well, probably not in a way you could put in an advertisement. Or in a way where you're eating it. So Kayla has trouble.
Lisa names her hot dog "the skinny little bitch" because it has no bun. How DARING! Actually, it's pretty genius. I'm now rooting for Lisa, because this show just gave her license to do whatever strikes her and act all sorts of insane, and she can defend anything she does as part of her "brand," and THAT is something I could watch all season long. Jay gets it: "Everything is a dare. That energy is just piercing," he says of Lisa's photo shoot, in which she chews and laughs maniacally while straddling a stool. GO LISA!
Jay loves Bre's hair even if she doesn't, but she has a hard time looking like a "girlfriend" to her hot dog. I think I know what hand motion would do the trick...
After the photo shoot, Kayla is nervous. It took her a little too long to "grasp" the concept of the photo shoot. C'mon Kayla, all you were supposed to do was embody the word "free," which means having no boundaries or restrictions, by shilling a corporatized hot dog recipe within the boundaries of a single photo while restricted by an evening gown. WHAT'S NOT TO GET?
Judging Panel
Tyra is wearing another pair of suspenders, and appears to have not washed her hair since last week. She's really going after this whole Oliver Twist thing. Hard. Andre isn't wearing a porkpie this time, which makes me sadder than I'd care to admit to you. (VERY sad. Mine JUST arrived from eBay!)
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
Hot Model Photo Shoot
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